Heeeere's Curly!
by Toutebelle
Summary: Mr. Simmons assigns a marine biology project, but Rhonda gets crazy Curly as her partner. What's a girl to do? ON HOLD
1. Rhonda Screams

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_**DISCLAIMER:**__ I do not own Hey Arnold or most of the characters. They are property of Nickelodeon. This story is rated T for cursing and several innuendos._

This is inspired by a dream that I had about Hey Arnold years ago. It's really funny, so enjoy!

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**RHONDA AND CURLY, SITTING IN A TREE**

**CHAPTER 1**

It was yet another fine day at P.S. 118. Everyone was sitting in Mr. Simmons' class, waiting to see what they would get for a project. He said for days on end that they were getting a 'special' project in which the students had to work together on.

"Okay, class," said Mr. Simmons. "We have an extra-special project coming up. Your project will be in...drum roll..." Helga, with her usual angry face, did the drum roll with her pencils.

"_A marine biology project_!" said Mr. Simmons. The class just looked at him. "And you each get to work with someone!"

_Pff, no!_ thought Helga.

"Now," said Mr. Simmons, "you will get partners!" He held up a hat. "Pick your partner from this hat and you will get a partner. First up...Arnold!"

The hat was brought to Arnold, who picked out a slip. It said: _Phoebe Heyerdahl_.

"Thanks," said Arnold.

"Next up," said Mr. Simmons, "Gerald!"

Gerald picked out a slip from the hat. He got: _Stinky Peterson_.

"Okay," said Gerald.

"Next up," said Mr. Simmons, "Helga."

"It better be someone good, Simmons," said Helga. She took out a slip from the hat. It read: _Harold Burman_.

"Great," retorted Helga. "I got Harold."

"Sure thing," Harold said sarcastically. "I'd love to work with Madam Fortress Mommy!"

Helga growled. Mr. Simmons ignored her.

"And next person to pick a partner is...Rhonda," said Mr. Simmons.

"Okay," said Rhonda. _I hope I get someone good_, she thought. _I don't want to end up with..._

Rhonda reached out into the hat and picked out a slip. Now here comes something really good: Rhonda is in for a big surprise! She read the slip:

_Curly Gammelthorpe_

"CURLY?" said Rhonda in disgust. Curly was looking at Rhonda, smiling and giggling in a cynical way. Rhonda cringed.

"Is something the matter, Rhonda?" asked Mr. Simmons.

"No," said Rhonda. "I just have to, uh, go to the bathroom!" She did not want to be rude again by screaming.

"Sure," said Mr. Simmons. "You don't usually have to go to the bathroom at this time."

Rhonda promptly left the classroom and walked swiftly through the hallways. She didn't say anything or even think anything until she got to the girls' bathroom. When she entered the bathroom, there was no one in there. Rhonda closed the door and screamed at the top of her lungs.

A girl from another class was walking through the hallway, about to go to the bathroom as well. "Whoever's in there...what's going on?"

"Nothing really," said Rhonda. "There was a huge spider in there, but it's gone!"

"Oh," said the other girl. Rhonda ran into one of the stalls as the other girl came in.

"I can't believe I got that psychopath Curly as a partner for this project," Rhonda said to herself. "What am I going to do? I better ask Mr. Simmons if there's a mistake. Maybe he'll be able to switch me with someone else. I hope so. I can't work with that freak!"


	2. Picking a Project

**CHAPTER 2**

Rhonda cried in the stall for about five minutes. Then, she was forced to get out because there was a line starting in the bathroom. She wiped away her tears, quickly got out of the bathroom and rushed back to Mr. Simmons' class. Everyone was walking out of his class.

"Good luck with Curly," said Helga. She started laughing evilly to herself as she walked out of the classroom.

"You took a long time," said Mr. Simmons. "Everyone's out of the class. But it's okay if you would like to stay after class."

"I would love to, Mr. Simmons," said Rhonda. "After all, I am very, very concerned!"

Rhonda pulled up a chair and sat near Mr. Simmons.

"Mr. Simmons," she said, "I have a request for you."

"And what request is that?" asked Mr. Simmons.

"I'm begging you!" shrieked Rhonda. "Please change my partner from Curly Gammelthorpe to some other kid! I just CANNOT work with that psychotic piece of shit!"

"Rhonda," said Mr. Simmons. "Please don't use any swear words."

"Sorry," said Rhonda.

"That's okay," said Mr. Simmons, "But it's not good to swear. And I am afraid that I cannot change your partne to 'some other kid'. You will have to work with Curly. But I promise, since you feel so bad, after this project is over you will not have to work with Curly again. Just give him a chance."

Rhonda looked at Mr. Simmons awkwardly for a minute, and then she spoke up. "Fine, Mr. Simmons. Fine. I will just have to work with Curly. And I will do it. You won't hear any more complaints from Miss Rhonda Wellington Lloyd! And now, since I have killed several minutes of lunch, I will go there now!"

"Okay," said Mr. Simmons. "See you after you have lunch, Rhonda."

Rhonda left the classroom and ran all the way to the cafeteria. She then looked at the line and saw that it was loaded with kids.

_Oh, man!_ thought Rhonda. _I took too long with Mr. Simmons. The line is loaded! By the time I get up there, it will be closed! How will I ever get lunch?_

Rhonda sat down at the table where Nadine was sitting. Rhonda reached into her pocket and took out her money.

"What's wrong, Rhonda?" asked Nadine.

"It's all Mr. Simmons' fault!" yelled Rhonda. "I have to work with Thaddeus Gammelthorpe, also known as..._Curly_."

"It's not that bad," said Nadine. "You want lunch? I got extra lunch for you." She gave a sandwich to Rhonda and handed it to her. Rhonda began to eat.

"Thanks," said Rhonda.

"I had to work with someone I didn't like last year," said Nadine.

"Who was it?" asked Rhonda.

"Well..." said Nadine, "it wasn't Curly. But that's besides the point. It's not a big deal."

All of a sudden, Curly began running through the lunch room, going up to Rhonda and Nadine.

"Hey, girls," said Curly. "Want to know what the tuna smells like?"

"EWW!" yelled Rhonda. "Get away from us, you germ-ridden bastard!"

"I know what it smells like, Curly," Nadine said at the same time. "It might be better for you to sit somewhere else - somewhere _far away_ from us."

Curly started running away, laughing insanely.

"Okay, Rhonda," said Nadine. "So it is a big deal. But you must not panic. Maybe you should try to spend as little time with him as possible. But sooner or later, the two of you will have to work together to get the project done. Then you won't have to worry about Curly again."

"I think I will avoid him," said Rhonda. "And only then will I be able to avoid that psychotic freak for good! By the way, Nadine, who did you get partners with?"

"I got Sheena," said Nadine.

"At least you didn't get Curly," said Rhonda. "But _I_ did!" Rhonda tried to hide her depression, as if she did not show enough of it. "What in marine biology have you and Sheena been assigned to do, anyway?"

"I am glad that you asked," said Nadine. "Sheena and I are doing _our_ marine biology report on venomous creatures of the deep!" She held out a picture of a poisonous stonefish. This is a hideous fish that can potentially kill a person who steps on it.

"Gross!" shouted Rhonda. "I'd rather not look at that piece of...whatever!"

"Why don't you at least tell Curly what you want to do the report on?" asked Nadine.

"Well," said Rhonda, "obviously, there's nothing fashion-related about marine biology. So that will be a tough one. Do you have any ideas?"

Nadine handed Rhonda a piece of paper. "Here is a list of topics that you might enjoy. I crossed out the ones that are taken."

Rhonda read the list of the available topics.

"_Zones of the ocean deep_," Rhonda read. "Nah."

"Doesn't sound interesting," said Nadine.

"_Ocean pollution_," Rhonda read again. "No thanks. I am _not_ talking about sewage!"

"What about the next one?" asked Nadine.

"_Ocean predators_," Rhonda read yet again. "Great, four pages about sharks."

"There are many other ocean predators besides sharks," said Nadine.

"Fine," said Rhonda. "I will tell Curly later that this is the project. I hope he agrees to do it. I also hope he agrees to do it away from me. I will avoid him as much as possible. Yet I'll end up doing all the work. Curly will be too busy goofing off. Maybe he will try to light his fart or something else stupid and gross."

Rhonda finished her lunch in a little while and made her way outside for recess. She tried punching the tetherball to get the anger and frustration of being partners with Curly out of her system. Arnold, Gerald, and Helga were looking at her.

"Pff," said Helga. "There goes Rhonda trying to get rid of her tormented life."

"Leave her alone, Helga," said Arnold.

"Football head," said Helga, "how would you like it if _you _had to work with that psychopath?"

"I wouldn't care," said Arnold. "Curly may be a bit...disturbed, but he has feelings, too. He should be treated just like everyone else."

"Arnold's right," said Gerald. "I've worked with Curly before. He isn't _that _bad. I've been with much worse."

"Yeah," said Helga. "And _I_ have to work with Pink Boy over there."

Helga pointed out Harold, who was laughing while goofing around with the other kids. He then saw that Helga was looking at him.

"Hey look!" yelled Harold. "It's Helga and her caterpillar eyebrow!"

"Quiet, Pink Boy," said Helga.

"Well, Helga," Harold said sarcastically. "We are _partners_, aren't we?"

"Stop harassing me!" shouted Helga. "Or I will beat the crap out of you!" She started walking up to Harold with her hands in fists.

"AAAAAA!" screamed Harold. "MOMMY!" He started running away. Helga gave chase and punched Harold on the back of his head.

"I can only imagine how _they_ will manage work together," said Gerald. "They are going to have the time of their lives! They're _unbelievable_!" Gerald laughed.

"I know," said Arnold. "I think the same is going to happen with Rhonda and Curly on their project. I have the feeling that it will."


	3. Adversity

**CHAPTER 3: AFTER SCHOOL**

Rhonda had a hard time paying attention after recess was over and sitting through Mr. Simmons' class for the rest of the day. She could not get over the fact that Curly Gammelthorpe was her partner for the project, thus making her very pathetic. During the math lesson...

"Rhonda," said Mr. Simmons, "Do you know what the square root of 361 is?"

"It's...uh..." said Rhonda. "Uhh...it's...uhh...13?"

"Sorry, Rhonda," said Mr. Simmons, "but 13 is not the answer. Do you know the answer, Gerald?"

"That's easy!" said Gerald. "The answer is 19!"

But Rhonda wasn't the only one that was distracted from Mr. Simmons' lessons. In the English class...

"Okay," said Mr. Simmons, "Curly: would you care to read Page 12 of our book."

Curly was too busy looking at a photo of Rhonda that he kept inside of his desk.

"Ohh...babycakes..." Curly said to himself. "Heh heh heh!"

Sheena raised her hand. "I'll read, Mr. Simmons," she said. Sheena opened her book and began reading it.

Eventually, school was over. Rhonda quickly got her stuff ready to go home and she ran out of the school before Curly could find her. Nadine saw Rhonda and ran after her, catching up to her after a while.

"Rhonda," said Nadine, "why are you running away? Is this about Curly?"

"DUH!" said Rhonda. "Curly knows where I live! I have to go to my house as fast as I can!"

"But you'll have to work with him sooner or later," said Nadine.

"Nadine C. Papillon," said Rhonda, "do you know who I am dealing with?"

"You're acting crazy," said Nadine. "Besides, the bus will get you home faster."

"So," said Rhonda. She caw Curly getting on the bus. "Curly's on there!"

"I'm going home now," said Nadine. "Good luck." She walked away.

Rhonda started leaving. Helga, who was on the bus, saw Rhonda running away from the bus.

"See you later, Princess!" Helga laughed evilly.

While Helga was laughing, Harold walked up to her. He had a smirk on his face.

"Hey look," he said. "it's my partner Helga! She's all cranky, AH HAH HAH!"

"Quiet, Harold!" Helga said angrily. "And we're going to my house. Better stay away from Miriam and her blender. And you better be there by 5 o'clock or else..."

"Okay, Helga," Harold said evilly, "I'll be a good partner. You can count on it, _unibrow girl_!"

Helga sat down furiously as the bus started moving and drove away from P.S. 118.

Rhonda ran home quickly, and was sweaty and out of breath when she got to her house. She walked up the steps to her house and was greeted by her father.

"Rhonda," said Mr. Lloyd, "You're all sweaty. Did you miss the bus or something?"

"No, Daddy," chuckled Rhonda. "I didn't deliberately miss the bus. I decided to jog home to get a little exercise. If I did..."

"Come inside," said Mr. Lloyd. "Do you have any homework to do?"

"Yes," said Rhonda. "There's a math assignment I have to do. I'm going to do it right now!"

"Okay," said Mr. Lloyd. "Your mother and I will be in the yard in case you need us." Rhonda went inside her house, closed the door behind her, and went upstairs to her room. She closed the door and threw herself on the bed. She cried for five minutes before realizing that she had to do her homework so her parents wouldn't ask. So she did her homework. After her homework was done, she was slightly relieved.

"Well," Rhonda said to herself, "at least Helga Pataki didn't see me cry. She's seen it before."

Now, let's cut to a little after 5 o'clock at Helga's house. Helga's mother, Miriam, was in the kitchen, sleeping on the kitchen counter due to drinking one too many "smoothies". Helga's father, Big Bob Pataki, was out ordering some Chinese take-out. Helga herself was near the front door, looking at the clock.

"Where's Harold?" she asked herself. "He better not be late."

Ten minutes later, Helga was nearly falling asleep. Then, she heard a knock on the door.

"Must be Big Bob," said Helga. She walked over to the door and opened it. "Dad, did you get the..." But it wasn't Big Bob at the door. It was Harold. He was holding his backpack. Helga was not surprised.

"Hey, _Helga_!" said Harold.

"Finally, Pink Boy!" said Helga. "Let's go upstairs. What garbage did you pick for the project?"

"I picked something that's extra special!" said Harold with a big smirk. "I'll show you when we get to your room!"

"Okay, Harold," said Helga, "But it _better _be good!"

Next, Helga and Harold went upstairs to Helga's room. When they were in her room, Helga closed the door and sat down on her bed. Harold started walking towards Helga's closet.

"Don't you _dare _go in my closet, you big whale!" shouted Helga. "Or you'll be talking to Old Betsy and The Five Avengers!"

"By the way, _Helga_," said Harold. "You got to choose your room, but I got to choose the project! How about Fish Reproduction?"

"Great," said Helga, "An entire project about fish sex. That's all I wanted to do for the project that Mr. Simmons gave us!"

"Really?" asked Harold.

"NO!" yelled Helga. "I am _not _going to do my project about fish reproduction with a lard boy like you!"

Cut to about five minutes later, in a room that Helga's father kept books in...

"I can't believe I am doing my project on fish reproduction," said Helga. She was reading a book entitled _Ichthyology for Dummies_.

"Come on," said Harold, "it's funny!"

Meanwhile, Big Bob arrived home with the Chinese take-out. Miriam, who had awoken from her "nap", called Helga for dinner.

"We're having Chinese take-out tonight," said Helga. "Care to have some?"

"YEAH!" shouted Harold.

While the two went downstairs, Helga said, "Wonder how Miss _Rhonda Lloyd_ is doing?"

And we'll see how she's doing next chapter...


	4. Curly's Playhouse

_**NOTE:** Sorry I didn't have a chance to update for nearly six months. I was kind of busy with other fanfics and junk._

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**CHAPTER 4: CURLY'S PLAYHOUSE**

After she and her family had dinner, Rhonda decided to go to the public library. She was hoping to find some books for the marine biology project. Plus, she thought that the library was the last place that she would find Curly.

We now see Rhonda walking along the streets. She has a backpack and a nervous smile.

"At least Curly won't be here," she said to herself. "After all, the creep can't keep his mouth shut for five seconds! All I need to do is find a few books on ocean predators and hope for the best!"

Rhonda walked up the steps of the library, opened the door, and went inside. She noticed that the building was very quiet. This wasn't surprising, since a library is supposed to be quiet. But she still felt nervous, since she didn't know what to expect.

Next, Rhonda looked for the reference section. When she found it, she looked at a list of books. The marine biology books were high up on the bookcase. Rhonda pulled up a ladder that was used to get to the higher books. She climbed it carefully and stopped at the seventh shelf. Then, Rhonda reached out and took four different books about ocean predators. The first book was entitled _Terrors of the Deep_. The second and third books were each titled _Sharks_, and they were by different authors. The last book was titled _Vicious Fishes_.

"I guess these books should suffice for the project," said Rhonda.

Rhonda descended the ladder and sat down at a table. She began reading the first book, which was the thinnest. While Rhonda read the book, she took out her notebook and jotted down notes. She wrote down four pages of notes. She then moved on to the second book, but after taking one page of notes, she was greeted by the sound of quiet snickering.

"Oh no," she said. "It's...nah! He would _never_ go to the library!"

Rhonda went back to reading her book. She jotted down more notes, but eventually the laughing continued. Next thing Rhonda knew, she felt someone breathing on her.

"AAAUGH!" yelled Rhonda. "Who is that?" She looked up from her book and saw someone. This "someone" was none other than _Curly_!

"Hello, Rhonda," said Curly with a huge grin on his face.

"Curly?" said Rhonda, trying not to scream.

"I see you are reading up on our project, my sweet pea," said Curly.

"Don't call me that!" growled Rhonda.

"The predators of the ocean are amazing," said Curly. "Do you have any recommendations?"

"Sorry, Curly," Rhonda said bluntly. "But I feel that, well, _I've_ taken all the good books."

"Oh, that's too bad," said Curly. "I might as well take two of those books for myself."

Rhonda looked at her books. She saw that the first and third books she took were the thickest, so she quickly grabbed them. She did not want Curly to get his grimy little paws on them.

"Oh well," Rhonda said in a stuck-up way. "Looks like you don't have much of a choice."

Curly took the books that were still available for him to take. "I don't care," he said. "As long as the books get the job done, I will be able to get you an A+."

"You've never going to get an A+ if you keep breathing on me," said Rhonda. "Now get away from me, Curly!"

"Not yet," said Curly. "I have an offer that you can't refuse!"

Rhonda sighed. "What is it?" she asked.

"It is an invitation to my house," said Curly, handing Rhonda a letter. "We will be able to work together there."

Rhonda read the letter:

_My dearest Rhonda,_

_You are cordially invited to the house of Thaddeus "Curly" Gammelthorpe. You must be there Wednesday **immediately** after school. Toodles!_

_Yours truly, Curly_

"Pff, no!" said Rhonda. "Wednesday is tomorrow!"

"Now, Rhonda," said Curly. "You know you want to. You've been there before."

"That was just to return your math book," said Rhonda.

"Be there," said Curly, "or else I'll..." Curly took off his glasses and pretended to cry.

"Oh, please," huffed Rhonda. "But I guess I will go to your house - as long as you stop fake crying."

Curly put his glasses back on and held his books.

"Thanks," he said. "I can't wait for Curly's Playhouse to begin."

"Now get away," said Rhonda, blushing.

Curly took his books and left Rhonda. He shot a sinister smile at Rhonda before he left.

"This is so pathetic," Rhonda said to herself.

Rhonda sat in the library for ten minutes longer, and then checked out her books and went home.

The next day, Rhonda was at her bus stop. When the bus came, she got on the bus and sat down in an empty seat.

Helga, who was sitting in the seat behind Rhonda, looked at her.

"Hey, Princess," said Helga. "How's Curly?"

"He's...great..." faltered Rhonda. Then, she sighed. "I'm going to his house after school."

"I don't blame you for feeling like that," said Helga. "I have to go to Pink Boy's place after school."

Harold looked at Helga. "That's right, _Helga_!" he laughed.

"GRRR!" growled Helga.

Harold went back to his seat. Helga then took out her locket - the one with a picture of Arnold in it.

"Oh, Arnold!" said Helga to her locket. "Oh, how I love you! And yet, I have to spend this horrid time with Harold as my partner. How much stress this puts on my love for you...ohh..."

Helga then noticed that Brainy was behind her. He was breathing heavily on her. Helga punched him in the face.

Later, Rhonda was eating in the cafeteria. She opened her lunchbox and took out her exquisite cheese quiche that her mother had packed for her. She also took out fresh strawberries and a can of sparkling apple juice.

Phoebe sat down at Rhonda's table. She was carrying a brown paper bag.

"Oh, hi," said Rhonda, eating a piece of quiche.

"Gosh!" said Phoebe. "That's quite a selection, Rhonda."

"Thanks," said Rhonda. "It was my mom's idea. How is the marine biology project coming along?"

"Good," said Phoebe. "Arnold and I are working on the creatures of the abyss. And you?"

Rhonda frowned. "Okay..." she said.

Phoebe noticed that Rhonda was upset. "Why are you upset all of a sudden?" she asked. "Is this about Curly?"

"Yes," sighed Rhonda. "I have to go over to his house after school."

Curly walked over to Rhonda and Phoebe. He was smiling.

"What's up, my pretty princess?" said Curly, wiggling his fingers in a girly way. "I am so excited about you coming to my house. We're going to have a great time! You'll love the surprise that I have."

Rhonda cringed.

Later, Rhonda was walking to Curly's house. She was clutching her books. She carefully approached the house and walked up the steps. Then, Rhonda knocked on the door and waited for Curly.

Curly opened the door. "Yeah, baby!" he said. "Oh...hey, Rhonda! Welcome to Curly's Playhouse!"

"Listen up," said Rhonda. "Let's go up to your room to do this project. But I'm only staying for an hour, mind you. Don't pull any of your crappy tricks. But first, I need a Yahoo. I haven't had any drinks since lunch."

Rhonda and Curly went inside. They went into Curly's kitchen, where Curly gave Rhonda a bottle of Yahoo Soda.

Curly also took a Yahoo Soda bottle and drank it.

"Yahoo Soda!" he said. "Just..._drink it_!" When he said "drink it", he burped.

Rhonda and Curly went up to Curly's room. Rhonda looked around. She felt disturbed by the unsettling decorations, especially the giant clown doll near Curly's calendar.

"Curly," said Rhonda, putting down her books, "let's get started. Now, what do you have about ocean predators?"

"Well," said Curly, reading his book, "there's the dreaded moray eel, which pops out of holes to eat fish!"

"I know," said Rhonda, jotting down notes. "You're probably familiar with the great white shark. Apparently, I found out that it's a scavenger as well as a predator. And it's one of the top predators of the sea."

"Just like you," said Curly.

"I don't live in the sea," said Rhonda. Curly and Rhonda worked on the project for 40 minutes, and then Rhonda remembered the "surprise"/

"Anyway, you said you have a surprise for me," said Rhonda.

"Yes," said Curly. He handed Rhonda a box. "I have to go to the bathroom."

Curly went to the bathroom. Rhonda looked down at the box.

"I wonder what's in this box," she said bluntly. "Probably a clown mask, or maybe several cans of Manwich. Or maybe it's..._his favorite underpants_!" She said the last three words in a dopey voice like Squidward did.

Rhonda opened the box and found a fish-shaped plaque that said _Curly x Rhonda_. "What?" she said.

Curly came back after a minute. "Well Rhonda," he said. "Don't you like it?"

"No," said Rhonda. "I'm not going to be your girlfriend."

"Come on, Rhonda," said Curly. "It's in honor of our project."

Rhonda shrugged.

"4:15: my life is over." she said to herself.

A few minutes later, Rhonda packed up her stuff and went home.


End file.
